Heart attack imminent.

My heart keeps time with the rhythm of the words running through my head, "Don't be nervous, don't be nervous, don't be nervous." Like the annoying caw of a parakeet in a pet store.

But then I start to actually listen to the words in my head and my heart beats faster, "Don'tbenervous, don'tbenervous, don'tbenervous" making it all at once impossible to think clearly or breathe normally.

I'm inside my head almost all the time these days, holding my breath as I breaststroke through the muck to find something, anything, to steal my attention away from the anxious, insistent metronome ticking of my heart.

But you.

B u t y o u, b u t y o u, but you, butyoubutyoubutyou.

Damn it.