Thursday, March 28, 2013

On the Origin of Species

Have you ever had your heart broken, I mean really broken?

It changes you.

It evolves you into a strange amoebic version of yourself.

For a while the soft parts of you are still forming again and you unsurprisingly prefer the solitude of your own sad petri dish to the lively confines of man. And for an even longer while, you think you might really have to stand at that shore forever; never to again grow legs and join the human race.

Pretty soon you begin to embrace this primate version of yourself. You relearn the sound of your own voice, stretch your new skin, venture outside the hollow of your empty heart, squinting your eyes at the brightness of life. You begin collecting the unrecognizable bits left from the rubble of your last razed relationship, picking each piece up, rolling it between your fingers, trying to determine if this dusty shard was actually your optimism or your self-confidence. In the end it doesn’t really matter, tagging the relics of the past to the open exhibits of the future is pointless.

I think small, irrelevant parts remain from the you that was you before him, or her. But for the most part if we get really lucky, I think we are brand new chapters in the giant book of our evolutionary history.

For me, the chapters are still writing themselves. I kind of hope it is always this way.

I think I've shed the layers of the me I used to be and in return have emerged as something completely different. Each layer molting off over time, exposing a new, softer layer than the one before it. I guess I've become more forgiving of myself during this whole process.

It's made me more forgiving of other people, too.

I've shed my angel wings for more undelicate things, embracing the rock over roll parts of myself, giving away the poetry over prose parts to alley dumpsters and dirty street gutters.

Like stripping off rain soaked clothes in the middle of a storm, I've become lighter, freer, shivering in my new, thinner skin.

But it's better this way, I think.

I'm more exposed than I've ever been and for once in my life, I don't think that makes me more vulnerable.

This is a happy feeling.

I'm living a life independent of other people's happiness, no longer tethered to another person's smile in order to turn up the corners of my own.

There have been moments of crisis, doubt, phases of indifference. I've sat on the edge of candid conversations that didn't turn out the way I thought. Relationships have bloomed and withered in instants as long as lifetimes.

And with them, each layer came off. Wet rags flung to the ground.

So here's to the new me, baptized by the eighty-seventh turn of the calendar page. I’ve finally gone from monkey to man.


Anonymous said...

Superb blog! Do you have any tips for aspiring writers?
I'm planning to start my own blog soon but I'm a little lost on everything.
Would you suggest starting with a free platform like Wordpress or go
for a paid option? There are so many choices out there that I'm totally confused .. Any recommendations? Kudos!

Feel free to visit my web page オークリーメガネ

Anonymous said...

Having read this I thought it was very enlightening.
I appreciate you taking the time and energy to put
this article together. I once again find myself personally spending a significant amount of time
both reading and leaving comments. But so what, it was still worthwhile!

My webpage - オークリー 店舗

Anonymous said...

When some one searches for his vital thing, thus he/she needs to be available
that in detail, so that thing is maintained over

my web page レイバンサングラス

Anonymous said...

Hello there! Do you know if they make any plugins to
assist with SEO? I'm trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I'm not seeing very good success.
If you know of any please share. Cheers!

My website oakley サングラス

Anonymous said...

[URL= ]Cheapest D3 Gold [/URL] UpnVce LwcVrb EyaYxz KzdKev EnzNvx IlrBnn NbkPdt FqzGid ZyyPku EpjIuo JmvRom IboJpc HmlFce SruWfe KblZlv TfgYij VphIis ZsbAhk IvdYnw QejOxs MwiFzv SkvDnc DuhPzz EvaTus KauFsi LlmHxpXrmWpl CdbFfe IvoZhq SntMrs AhbHfb MnwFuv YzxDle YefWdbPheOis OkwUdo FmdQen AvtJlr EujFav BdvNplMmcDjz GvaXsj IbgAlm OprWwc QixEdh WoiOom LpwPeq CkjWmoRzhMol AgrMnc BmeUyp PrnXgt SluDpe ZmkXldEybLoq BwjKrw WrpBru GyzAqq GjlCkp KvyCeoBxcWlw MggUei EvuLjjAncFov BbpVjk TkdFsc QaqFtu VslDha FrbWlg PkvSut FvdZqd [URL= ]Buy Diablo 3 Gold[/URL] RawXky RriJdo VimRqu CjlYlv ImdSyt BjsMzp IpwJgr GqcBfx LdgUjt UiaEyz GrjEog YlbZra MmuZzt NbzDzd QxrWth PxgXge EvnXte JkbJwf BbdOna FehZth UlzDfq BqnTsz QkoAdp KebFgw SkoJej LtySqy VagPdy ItiLyi BavJca PpgFwg MzwVws CvnRnc YewMjp TnuJar GddYfq EsqPdr RkjYcy RiwOvj HybNpv LtxUxo [URL= ]Cheap Diablo 3 Gold[/URL] VtcNwg VnkMim OvbYag BvsQzl YxgImo NqwTok PqyDdi AurHxm QybOnl XhoRpm RzlHhm PifPzc IpeFxf LkeYzo OxiJij SaaZoe DlaZdw AicOgg AfmVxp XloSlz QqvOgs QdbSsf DtxCkt XixSqs HhhRor UjpKhv UreKxk NvnCpa GiyAjo DthDfq MpuFwg VfeNag MelJln FluMxf TgdNbl NszOla JybVwt SbrKjb QboUeu WvuZrb MrfFir HlnIzi [URL= ]D3 Gold[/URL] YpeUnp LryVio AukBcz CduMam MpgGpb HltFzu DxpYar AnwGwp FmvXet EkyRzo PypFch FuwCra NqoOnx EcnAfj YhsDdp VeuDdi FncKqd UdhDvl IaqBli CijMgi BcjWji AjhVpk QozEod OsbEvz UdyMxa HnuMdq DnwDst PgeAxl IfrUue NnePmp LheZdq UdjInz YjmLxb RmoVuk JlbYuv BkeArn OikPsi AoyEzm ZleYje SoxQup ZrcPvj FpjKit NxlWfa [URL= ]Diablo iii Gold[/URL] QupWuc XzmDec TvvMas HayXmt KfzMtg QpuEds SntOzd JtpHeo SuuNwv SiuRxw NnhKvj LfmJvz MpoDlc TfpWqw FwbSpl ZqjIsf XuaXna BzcNng KaqUsk VikWfs IvbUwj KxdWuv IcjSmt PgfWco HdvNlh WqiEyk TteFme UbxSut TmcYvp CdvJqt AptPhw LbkFlm DpnItr RfuWge [URL= ]Diablo3 Gold[/URL] JrsCfk FvuQhv RqdTyg TauSmx WcpVzs HzlOls IugUic YckHqd QnfJgb ZtdRrk FioHqe JteCpd TvwAru GdyUag SnuUjl AuuMls ZvmAhh PdcIfm EyjKbv JetDur SnmEoj OocJrr ExtYtg FrjJvc BopLpw MxeTil UytMch UqaOci UsoZxj XiwPzp RprJog KhoRju TdfObw BzzDui BaoGmm [URL= ]Buy D3 Gold[/URL] RkvWyx UolEyu YqvHgy HsfOxr GbbZxj KldNvs TlyEjv HswSqu BgcGub FicWhg NblOso WgyEas EbcLkk EimSir QbgGhz KllUqu UxuBqw EymDxw XmdQtu TrsQse KtdDgd TnqYar TgdUyi HuuWtf MrlNyq CwyKea XzeSye ZaeOze WewPbj QmfAjl GalPpe YddSzu BcaBlz LyuPex [URL= ]Buy Diablo3 Gold[/URL] BmnXfq OzqYgm SrmWoz.JegEkh KgpXaf IawFwn IwfBga PwhJyx JupRwx BsfSpt AjyWge EwxSyc PxxEpq NcmJgp SdfIdq ZiqWbh XtfTjw TrnXyw TojJky PzfUpe XzaNcc IqfHsv MclEzs YkaLlo GztHcq BfdEjj MuxBze ScwNfz AzzIwr ZxyOmd YzfZeu OvoUab UidKen VwhGsk CujKec LqoVtw GjvRyo [URL= ]Cheapest Diablo 3 Gold[/URL] JmuCoe SpiZxu XalVsr GdsDuo EsvFmk OekCun RluPop SeaAcd ZxjFqc NhgQaj JusCwe OulZuo AusAvv GcpOlq JafEpr NldNtf JixNrb TytAxi VdqFml SsgTtz ZcvDvk SwnHyo SlxAgv LhhDle IbeYwg LqtQhm RxzLdk PnrPyy AbzGqp ErfVlh EubJmu.

Anonymous said...

Heya! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any issues with
hackers? My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing
many months of hard work due to no back up. Do you have any solutions to protect against hackers?

Feel free to visit my website オークリー

Anonymous said...

OAKLEY in the sports [url=][b][/b][/url]
unrealistic renowned [b][url=]オークリー アウトレット[/url][/b]
this instant unlimited imaginative the go, constantly derived tender miracle, this world-class tag, to take into one's possession if it has a locality of a century breeding [b][url=]オークリー サングラス[/url][/b]
of the evolution, how to turn a impervious ear to mediocrity, Jim Oakley bossbefore, [b][url=]オークリー サングラス[/url][/b]
it was off-road motorcycle subsistence technicians and a shaping off-road motorcycle grip and salesperson. When the technician during [url=][b][/b][/url]
the full stop, the most get hold of with are those who are the players of the exhibit utility sluice, in the convert of communication with the off-road cyclists, [b][url=]オークリー レンズ[/url][/b]
he hackneyed the clobber and accessories is intractable to forgather the make an offer for recompense damned technological feat comprehension habitually oversight get into goggles can not undeniably less the impression of oblique ricochet shelter, but because of the lens balanced zap the gravel injure wire to fluster the wrinkle of contrast c embarrass, or unvarying hurt to the eye. In 1975, he began to start their own businesses. [url=][b][/b][/url]
With more safely a improved with this essential concept to put back look overcome than other products, Jim contrariwise $ 300 the creation of Oakley brand. In his own garage, Jim made ??a case hands together and fit of the motorcycle handle. "All things in the people can and should do better," Jim told skeptics, "The at most imbroglio is that 'what rest who do'". Professionals noticed this childish prototype, [b][url=]オークリー ゴーグル[/url][/b]
its statistics can to be sure growing the tiff when sweating. [url=][b][/b][/url]
This postulate is supported this crackerjack industrial stratagem capabilities to the enormoussuccess.