I saw you come through different eyes than I will see you go. You gave me moments of happiness the likes of which I never believed possible for me. Winter wasn’t so cold. Spring wasn’t so wet. And Summer…well Summer I fell in love with you all over again.
Just like 2008, I stumbled forth blindly into your arms, seeking your gentle embrace, putting all of my faith into a reassurance I knew wouldn’t come, but continued to foolishly hoped for.
2009 you have tested me.
You jumped on my back and laughed while I struggled to carry you, adding more weight when I felt my back would break with the burden of you.
And you gave me no choice. Time is cruel in its unrelenting pursuit of our most precious assets.
At some point during your pursuit I surrendered to the notion that I have no control over what you had in store for me.
But 2009 you didn’t get the best of me.
I gave you an effort that was unmercifully halfhearted. A reluctance that was unmovable. I unleashed a stubbornness to fight you that made it impossible for me to accept the plan you had so circumspectly mapped out for me.
I sat under you, kicking my legs, heaving you off of me, escaping your defeat of me every time you tried to force me to submit.
And I fought so hard I became tired. And ultimately I grew too weary to deter you any longer.
What happened at that point changed everything.
And even on the very last day of you, everything is still changing for me.
2006, 2007, 2008, you put me to sleep. 2009 woke me up.
So thank you.
I somehow think you always knew I would submit to you, sagaciously encouraging me in your own way to keep hauling you around; that the end somehow would justify a means so burdensome.
You reinvented me 2009.
In my new opinion, 2010 doesn’t stand a chance.
Happy New Year everyone, but mostly I think, to me.
Thursday, December 31, 2009