If this doesn't move you, then you are dead inside.

State of Megan - Part Two

Today we're going to talk about money. The state of my money.

See the problem is, I'm not a naturally fiscal person.

My inherent proclivities are towards spending, not saving. Matters of money are a huge source of stress for me. My relationship with it vascillates between love and hate, almost daily. Almost hourly. I've never had *a lot* of money per se, but I'm definitely not poor. I save during months where money is not tight, less than my financial advisor wants, but more than the average person I suspect.

When I started at my current job six and a half years ago I immediately enrolled the max into my 401k. My company matches 6%, so by now I have a considerable chunk of change socked away for when I decide to live my dream of building a gigantic front porch somewhere, spending the rest of my days fanning myself between glasses of iced tea and unreciprocated fetch with my fat, grandfatherly curmudgeon of a dog.

Trust me, it's planned out. There will be cupcakes, too. Lots of cupcakes.

So this morning when I signed on to check my stocks and see this in the activity column: Gains/Losses -$7,313.42, it put a bit of a dent in my day.

I know times are hard for everyone, but that's the largest sum of money I've ever gambled away, ever.

My Year-to-Date Rate of Return is -32.1%.

I don't know much about the stock market, admittedly. I dated a broker for a while, but most of my money I entrust to the good people at Ameriprise Financial. My advisor has honestly helped me a lot to understand good spending and saving habits. He put me on a budget, which I adhere to everyday with a computerized program that my boyfriend wrote for me. It tells me how much money I have to spend for the week and then that's what I spend. I have a Roth IRA, an ING Savings account and a 401k and all that makes me feel is confused. I know it's not enough. Not enough, even still.

Me and money, we don't know the steps yet in this dance. Somehow, I fear we will always being stepping on each other's toes.

The economy is in a sorry state today, this isn't news to anyone. Of course during the years of the Clinton surplus, all I had to worry about were slap bracelets and Slurpee allowances, so its definitely news I am keeping up with. Like most Americans, I have a lot of debt. Credit card debt, school loans, car loans, not to mention the thousands of dollars my parents have lent me over the years.

Short of a miracle, that little nest egg is all I have. So yes, I'm concerned. I'm not an economist. I don't even balance my check book.

What I can't imagine is that anyone would willingly volunteer to take on this country's issues. That is why I am a voter. I have such respect for both candidates in this election. Who would want to be them right now? Honestly.

She wrote an intriguing post today and I have to say, after reading it again, I really think she's right on the money. *Cheesy pun FULLY intended*

Maybe a recession is what this country needs. Learn to live within our means for a while and then appreciate what we have. Its amazing how it takes ridiculously high and rising gas prices to really focus on the energy crisis. I know it sounds socialist, but I really believe there could be worse things. So we buy generic for a while. We buy the sensible, fuel-economic Honda instead of the gas guzzling luxury SUV. I'm up for it. I have enough Ramen to last me another ice age.

But seriously. What this is teaching me is how unnecessary half the things I buy are. I've been wanting a new bed frame/headboard set for my new bedroom. I can't afford what I want. What I want is from Crate and Barrel and is $1200. See, totally unnecessary. But I waaaaaaant iiiiiiit.

With my new fiscally responsible mindset at work, I searched for something that would satisfy my headboard obsession at a lower cost.

Then I found the Ikea "As Is" section.

I peed my pants a little I think upon stumbling across this veritable diamond in the rough, this wonderful section of loveliness. In my current state of newfound frugality, all of those "as is" items looked shiny and new to me. I walked the aisles like a queen ordaining saints. "I'll take this one. And this one. Oh this one. This one for sure. Annnnnnnd this one."

They have this section that just has scraps from returned cabinets, media centers, bathroom shelving units, kitchen counters, backs of chairs. Their collection is amazing. I settled on this little piece, the door from a bookcase unit. The wood was exactly what I wanted, dark brown, the size, perfect. I plan to knock the glass out of the center and replace it with a covered piece of MDF or foam core, maybe in a microsuede with some upholstered buttons.

And all for $10. Plus I had a coupon.

Oh yeah, I'm a coupon cutter now, too.

I know my money is the issue here, but I also know many of you are feeling the effects of the slowly tightening wallet of our goverment. What are some things you do to make ends meet?

Bill Clinton for Secretary of State!

"Barack Obama will not allow the world's problems to obscure its opportunities. Everywhere, in rich and poor countries alike, hardworking people need good jobs; secure, affordable healthcare, food, and energy; quality education for their children; and economically beneficial ways to fight global warming. These challenges cry out for American ideas and American innovation. When Barack Obama unleashes them, America will save lives, win new allies, open new markets, and create new jobs for our people.

Most important, Barack Obama knows that America cannot be strong abroad unless we are strong at home. People the world over have always been more impressed by the power of our example than by the example of our power."

The power of our example.

Get out there and vote! There is still time to register. Check out your state's deadlines here.

Barack Obama is our next President.

I truly believe that.

Remember his words back at the 2004 DNC?

In the end, that’s what this election is about. Do we participate in a politics of cynicism or do we participate in a politics of hope?

John Kerry calls on us to hope. John Edwards calls on us to hope.

I’m not talking about blind optimism here -- the almost willful ignorance that thinks unemployment will go away if we just don’t think about it, or the health care crisis will solve itself if we just ignore it. That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about something more substantial. It’s the hope of slaves sitting around a fire singing freedom songs; the hope of immigrants setting out for distant shores; the hope of a young naval lieutenant bravely patrolling the Mekong Delta; the hope of a millworker’s son who dares to defy the odds; the hope of a skinny kid with a funny name who believes that America has a place for him, too.

Hope -- Hope in the face of difficulty. Hope in the face of uncertainty. The audacity of hope!

In the end, that is God’s greatest gift to us, the bedrock of this nation. A belief in things not seen. A belief that there are better days ahead.

I believe that we can give our middle class relief and provide working families with a road to opportunity.

I believe we can provide jobs to the jobless, homes to the homeless, and reclaim young people in cities across America from violence and despair.

I believe that we have a righteous wind at our backs and that as we stand on the crossroads of history, we can make the right choices, and meet the challenges that face us.

America! Tonight, if you feel the same energy that I do, if you feel the same urgency that I do, if you feel the same passion that I do, if you feel the same hopefulness that I do -- if we do what we must do, then I have no doubt that all across the country, from Florida to Oregon, from Washington to Maine, the people will rise up in November, and John Kerry will be sworn in as President, and John Edwards will be sworn in as Vice President, and this country will reclaim its promise, and out of this long political darkness a brighter day will come.

The audacity of hope. I fucking love that. How dare we see a better future for ourselves? What boldness to question our current state of inertia. How brave to embrace change.

This is dissent. A notion Americans don't nearly practice as much as we should. Barack Obama is a modern rebel. He's the Billy Idol of politics! He's making you believe, isn't he?

I feel those massive steel wheels scraping and grinding on the track, sparking and revving, steam billowing. Even enveloped in smoke I can see it coming.

Choo choo, baby.

Super Tuesday on my mind.

I realize that coming from me, saying "Vote" doesn't mean much. You don't know me, you probably don't know enough about me to respect me. Most of you don't understand this innate, unwavering sense of duty. I am just one person, sitting at a computer somewhere in the Midwest, feeling unsettled and dissatisfied with the leaders of our country. But I know there are more of you out there, I feel that.

And I challenge you. Say something to somebody, anybody--the guy on the bus sitting next to you, your sister, your friends at work, the receptionist at the dentist's office. Voice your opinion. Put up a sticker or a sign. Be heard. Color indifference a new shade! Don't just vote one way because your parents are or because you always have or because you don't know enough to vote intelligently. Voting is not just a right, it's a responsibility. Take it seriously.

I haven't done much that I can really say is great in my life or remarkable, but it's never been so easy this time. Be present February 5th. Be great.