Please congratulate my bestie and resident New Yorker on completing her first triathlon!
Megan Donnelly
bib number: 1438
age: 27
location: NEW YORK, NY
division place: 167 out of 260
Amazing, Donnelly, just amazing. I think Biggie Smalls was looking down on you yesterday and helping you along! :)
WAY TO GO!
For those of you who aren't familiar with Awesomefest, take note.
I will leave this post about the last Awesomefest experience as evidence and to attest to the true debauchery that these weekends almost always exceed.
Please cross your fingers that my flight remains uncancelled for the duration of this 16-hr period before take-off. Yes, I'm the asshole who flies American. Please please please please please. Please.
I need to get to NYC and purge some sins. Bad.
Giddy up, Donnelly!
I got nothin' today except for that my best girl ever is coming to Chicago this weekend. 
Not the best of circumstances, but I'm delighted nonetheless. :)
One of my best friends in the whole world is running the NYC Triathalon this summer and raising money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society at the same time.
I can't think of anyone more deserving or someone who would be more grateful if you would donate. Maybe you don't know her as well as I do, but we all know someone who has been affected by cancer. For all those times you've wanted to but didn't, here's a chance to make a difference.
Donate here.
Please enjoy the following photos of me and Don when she was in Chicago to run the marathon in 2006.
Thank you in advance for your donations!
I think VH1 is debuting this as we speak. You should tune in.
5. One characteristic of Awesomefest is that it usually takes place in either Chicago or New York City. This moment, however, grandfathered in all awesomely awesome Awesomefest moments to follow. Spring Break 2002, Panama City.
4. The one where Donnelly runs the Chicago Marathon, aka the PG-13 Awesomefest. October 2006. Donnelly couldn't drink, so I took the reigns while we were at the Iowa/Michigan game at Barleycorn. Best friends do that for each other. That below bruise is what I get for drinking for two. Oh I also failed to mention that in my drunken, beat up state, that I proceeded to call my ex at 6 p.m. for a booty call. His response, "I'm eating dinner, Gates!??"
3. My first NYC Awesomefest. May 2006. I remember five things about that trip. Pizza. SoCo shots. Stripper pole. Sweetbreads. And Spanish Harlem.
2. Awesomefest7000, Chicago, June 2007. Sexy knife poses and THE GAYS.
1. The very first Awesomefest in Chicago, way back in December of 2005. Donnelly took a cab directly from O'Hare to my neighborhood watering hole, Durkin's. I introduced her to vodka bottle shots and Allende burritos at 4 a.m. Oh. And it goes without saying that I also introduced her to the monstrosity that is Beaumont's. See the beginning of this post for explanation. 
Donnelly, are you ready to make this a top 10 list at AF2008 in two weeks?
Megan: dude how was FL?
dmbmeg: s'ok. i read harry potter the whole time by the pool
Megan: i know how it ends!!!!
dmbmeg: i finished
Megan: i can’t torment you, damn it
dmbmeg: who told you?
Megan: my dad
dmbmeg: HA, but thanks!!!!!
Megan: i am celebrating daniel radcliffe's legality by going to the strip club tonight
dmbmeg: he is so fucking hot, right?
Megan: fiiiiiiinally 18
dmbmeg: what the hell happened?
Megan: oh man, did you see the movie yet?
dmbmeg: uh yeah…he had this sexy smoldering thing going on
Megan: totally
dmbmeg: (please police, don't read that statement)
Megan: but i have a thing for sirius black. gary oldman is in my top five
dmbmeg: gary oldman is S-E-X-Y
Megan: every time he winks in the movie i get hot
dmbmeg: especially when he was boinking hester prin
Megan: and as the wheelchair robot guy in Hannibal who's face got eaten by dogs. i'd still hit it
dmbmeg: hell fucking yeah
Megan: i really like the movies even though i'm not into the books
Megan: i fucking want to go to hogwarts!
dmbmeg: me too, let's go
Megan: they better not put me in some lame house like hufflepuff though.
Megan: it would be like college all over again, but with magic
dmbmeg: they totally would, but we would turn that shit around
dmbmeg: we could create the biggest beer bong magic has ever seen
dmbmeg: std's? gone with a flick of your wand!
Megan: oh man i like where you're heads at
dmbmeg: hawkeyes losing season? we'd give the badgers permanent hemerrhoids.
Megan: i'd bang the shit out of slytherin. the whole house.
dmbmeg: i'd make friends with voldy too. those dark arts could come in handy when we attempt to bed sirius in a 3-some
Megan: you read my mind
dmbmeg: hell yeah you would! i would go eiffel tower style with cedric and harry though
Megan: wobby h potter!
dmbmeg: even lucius malfoy....total DILF. HEY-OH!
Megan: i think snape would be a whole lot more agreeable after a well-timed blowjob
dmbmeg: i wholeheartedly agree
Megan: ok this just got out of control real fast
dmbmeg: I was just thinking the same thing. Wait, I wonder how masturbation would be with a wand…can you like, improve your orgasm?
Megan: that seems too easy
dmbmeg: that is what magic is for though, magic in my pants
Megan: i'd hang the mirror of erised over my bed, bow chicka wow wow
dmbmeg: talk about seeing the thing you most desire!
Megan: um i feel dirty
dmbmeg: ha
Megan: yesssss
I just returned from the Funfest (not to be confused with Awesomefest) that was my weekend.
Here is a quick preview. There are a few key elements to this video: the dog trying to bite the bat the whole time, my Naziesque screams of "Get up! Finish!", and Kate's final words.
The full hilarity to come.
*Instead of completely reposting, you can find the full recap, here. Also, Don, I'm going to forget you ever said those blasphemous words about Xanga. You bite your tongue. You bite your tongue right now.
**You can view the photos from the weekend and every other weekend I've had since 2003, here.
